


Prayer

by zahrabane



Series: The Night Hours [Malec Codas] [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x10 Coda, Angst, Coda, Introspective Magnus, M/M, Malec, Parabatai, Ragnor is mentioned because I can't help myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 00:12:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15852309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zahrabane/pseuds/zahrabane
Summary: Magnus is left alone with Alec, moments after he's been stabbed by Jace. Without his magic, what power does he still have to save the one he loves? 3x10 coda.





	Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.” from Alistoney! Sorry about all the angst, love you <3

Magnus watched Alec’s eyes flutter shut after he ran the trembling stele over his izrate.

 _I’ll take care of him,_ Magnus had promised Jace, and Jace looked at him, trusting, before running off after Clary.

Now that he was left alone, he regretted accepting that trust. He regretted that promise to take care of Alec. Magnus was used to being the most capable man in the room, and something was crashing down on him as he knelt over Alec’s body, nearly crippling him to the ground beside Alec.

He was not capable of anything at all anymore.

Even when he was young, even when he had little control over his magic, it was always there, an energy within him that would spring forth from him, saving him in the most dire circumstances.

He had never imagined being without it.

Jace reappeared out of thin air, landing in a crouch behind Magnus. He moved towards Alec as if possessed, reaching a hand out towards his parabatai and hovering just over his chest, just before the arrow he had stuck in with his own hands.

 _It wasn’t him,_ Magnus tried to tell himself. Still, some part of him couldn’t help but want to curse Raziel for creating parabatai bonds, for encouraging his chosen warriors to not just use their bodies to fight evil, but for pulling their very souls into battle. For letting him fall in love with someone whose soul was not his own, who couldn’t protect Magnus from being dragged into the drama and the pain of Jace’s life even if he wanted to. Jace was a chaotic soul to be bound to, and for not the first time, Magnus wondered how someone as steadfast as Alec could be fated to be bound to someone as tumultuous as Jace.

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me,” he spat at Jace.

He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Something had happened when Jace went to get Clary, clearly. She wasn’t with him, for starters, but something in Jace’s face was disturbing. It was entirely blank.

 _Shock,_ Magnus realized. Shock. What had happened to Clary? And what did it feel like to have a part of your soul dying before you by your own hand?

Magnus averted his eyes from Jace, trying to repress a shudder. To speak with words he immediately regretted was an unusual feeling for him, almost as unusual as being unable to feel his own magic. He had learned through the centuries how powerful words were - more powerful sometimes than magic, and far more effective in some cases, and now he was throwing them away even though they were the only weapon he had left.

Jace might be the only person in the universe right now who could understand some semblance of what Magnus was going through. Magnus had lived long enough to have a voice in the back of his head (that sounded suspiciously like Ragnor) yelling at him not to push people away, even as he wanted to coil himself protectively around Alec and send Jace straight to Edom.

Not that he could send anyone straight anywhere anymore.

 _Tell me Jace isn’t worth it_ , Magnus remembered saying to Alec, moments before he left for Edom, moments before he left to make the decision that caused Alec to become moments from death in the first place.

But Alec hadn’t been able to tell him anything of the sort. Those angelic vows were handcuffs of loyalty. To watch Jace suffer was to watch Alec suffer, and that alone made saving Jace worth everything to Magnus.

“You’re going to make it back,” Magnus whispered to Alec, echoing the words Alec had spoken to him what felt like centuries ago.

Magnus and Jace leaned on each other, watching Alec, as the izrates took effect. Magnus found himself praying to the angels his father had rebelled against. Somewhere deeper, underneath the thin sheen of hope, as he felt the drag of Jace’s sharp shoulder against his cheek as Jace struggled to inhale nearly as much as Alec, he prayed to his father as well.

Alec’s eyes fluttered open the moment Asmodeus’ name floated into Magnus’ consciousness. Staring into the cloudy hazel of the eyes of the man he loved, Magnus didn’t dare pray that his father hadn’t been the one to answer him. Magnus didn’t dare think of what else Asmodeus could take away from him in payment.

But Alec was alive. Alec was here. And for that, Magnus realized as he watch Alec struggle to comprehend what was going on, he would trade nearly anything.


End file.
